I recently finished reading "Honey, I Wrecked the Kids" by Alyson Schafer. I loved every page. She writes it like you are having a conversation with a good friend - who also knows a lot about parenting! Her philosophy is based on Adlerian family therapy. I had studied this a bit in University (yawn), but Alyson has written this book so anybody and understand and actually USE the ideology.
It outlines and provides great examples of her approach to parenting, which is helping to empower our children and become co-operative people in our homes and society. If you are a parent who want their child to be a strong independent thoughtful person, and you as a parent want to be more understanding and encouraging - get. this. book.
Even if you just skim it or read the chapter about encouraging your child, you will find a practical and useful tools to add to your parenting toolbox. I started to implement some of her suggestions right away and I was BLOWN AWAY by how well her techniques worked. Here is an example:
- Getting out of the house can be a struggle sometimes. So I decided to try one of her suggestions of asking for help from my child instead of telling my child - reducing perceived power struggles. So I asked Hana to do me a solid and get her boots on for me while I did the baby's jacket up. Her response "okay mama" and on went the boots. Her usual response to my " put your boots on please" was "no - hmph" as she went squealing down the hallway.
I was shocked. It worked and it was so easy!!! I just changed how I talk to her, changed how I viewed the situation.... no charts, stickers, punishment etc. Our days together have been blissful since I have been using the ideas in this book.
Please please read it.... for your sanity and for your kid's mental health!! You won't regret it.